بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم

GOOD MANNERS AT HOME

GOOD MANNERS AT HOME

Spreading kindness in the home
Mother of the Believers, Hadhrat ‘Ayeshah reported that Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Ta’aalaa)’s Messenger (SallAllaho Alaihe WaSallam) said: ‘When Allah wills some good towards the people of a household, He introduces kindness among them.'” (Ahmad)

According to another Hadeeth: "When Allah loves the people of a household, He introduces kindness among them.” (Ibn Abi al-Dunya and others)

In other words, they start to be kind to one another. This is one of the means of attaining happiness in the home, for kindness is very beneficial between the spouses, and with the children, and brings results that cannot be achieved through harshness, as the Prophet Hadhrat Muhammad (SallAllaho Alaihe WaSallam) said: "Allah loves kindness and rewards it in such a way that He does not reward for harshness or for anything else.” (Muslim)

Helping one’s wife with the housework
Many men think that housework is beneath them, and some of them think that it will undermine their status and position if they help their wives with this work.

Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Ta’aalaa)’s Messenger (SallAllaho Alaihe WaSallam), however, used to "sew his own clothes, mend his own shoes and do whatever other work men do in their homes.” (Ahmad)

This was said by his wife Hadhrat ‘Ayeshah, when she was asked about what the Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Ta’aalaa)’s Messenger (SallAllaho Alaihe WaSallam) used to do in his house. Her response described what she herself had seen.

According to another Hadeeth, she said: "He was like any other human being: he would clean his clothes, milk his ewe and serve himself.” (Ahmad)

She was also asked about what the Messenger of Allah (SAW) used to do in his house, and she said: "He used to serve his family, then when the time for Salaah came, he would go out to pray.” (Bukhari)

If we were to do likewise nowadays, we would achieve three things:
* We would be following the example of the Prophet (SallAllaho Alaihe WaSallam).
* We would be helping our wives.
* We would feel more humble, not arrogant.

Some men demand food instantly from their wives, when the pot is on the stove and the baby is screaming to be fed; they do not pick up the child or wait a little while for the food. Let these Ahaadeeth be a reminder and a lesson for them.

Being affectionate towards and joking with the members of the family
Showing affection towards one’s wife and children is one of the things that lead to creating an atmosphere of happiness and friendliness in the home. Thus Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Ta’aalaa)’s Messenger (SallAllaho Alaihe WaSallam) advised his Sahaabi (Companion) Hadhrat Jabir to marry a virgin, saying: "Why did you not marry a virgin, so you could play with her and she could play with you, and you could make her laugh and she could make you laugh?” (Bukhari)

The Prophet (SallAllaho Alaihe WaSallam) also said: "Everything in which Allah’s name is not mentioned is idleness and play, except for four things: a man playing with his wife (one of those).” (Al-Nasaaee)

The ways in which the Prophet (SallAllaho Alaihe WaSallam) showed affection towards young children are too famous to need mentioning. He often used to show his affection towards Hadhrat Hasan and Hadhrat Husain. This is probably one of the reason why the children used to rejoice when he came back from travelling; they would rush to welcome him.

Hadhrat ‘Abdullah bin Ja’far said: "Whenever the Prophet came back from a journey, we would be taken out to meet him. One day we met him, Hasan, Husain and I. He carried one of us in front of him, and another on his back, until we entered Madinah al Munawwarah.” (Muslim)

Compare this with the situation in some miserable homes where there are no truthful jokes [i.e., jokes that do not involve lying], no affection and no mercy. Whoever thinks that kissing his children goes against the dignity of fatherhood should read the following Hadeeth.

Hadhrat Abu Hurairah reported that the Messenger of Allah kissed -Hasan ibn ‘Ali, and al-Aqra’ ibn Haabis al-Tameemi was sitting with him. Thereupon Aqra’ remarked: "I have ten children and I have never kissed any one of them.”

Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Ta’aalaa)’s Messenger (SallAllaho Alaihe WaSallam) cast a glance upon him and said: "He who does not show mercy to others, will not be shown mercy.”